So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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