I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
