A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
