As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
