there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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