I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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