This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
