So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize