I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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