Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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