he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
