You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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