just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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