I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize