My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
high people should be assigned attendants
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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