I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
