One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
