so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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