i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
