I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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