we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
