He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She bit a glass in half.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
