Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
