I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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