see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
