I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
