You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize