I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
