You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
