scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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