I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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