yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
