Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
