looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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