Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
