you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
