Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
