My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
