well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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