; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
