Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Vodka?
Forever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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