I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
