he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
