You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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