The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
