Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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