And the cops told us we were all naked.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
