Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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