To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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