Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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