Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We have started to decorate penises.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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