it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
