Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
