But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
