I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
