Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
