where am i from again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize