Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
