I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
