It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
