threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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