i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
