How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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