I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
