i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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