So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
