in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
