3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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