Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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