I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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